I'm hiding today.

This week, I have been to small group and book club, but I just am not ready for casual social gatherings. 

Miles and the kids are at Anna and Everett's birthday party... I'm supposed to be there, but I'm hiding.

Later today, a sweet friend is having a baby shower... I'm supposed to be there, I actually was supposed to be helping to plan and pull it off, but I'm hiding.

Today I'll spend quite a bit of time talking myself into going to church tomorrow. I want to go, it's just the sad eyes again. Miles said that I just need to pretend like I don't expect people to be sad for me, but I can't; you all betray yourselves with you eyes. It's great, I am so thankful that so many people love us and are sad for us and the loss of this life, but en masse, it's hard to endure and remain emotionally removed from the crushing grief that I am feeling... in public. So I am hiding today, and psyching myself up for tomorrow; wish me luck!