Wishing for January
Let me first say that Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love it, family gathering, yummy food, focusing on Jesus and the wonder and love that came in a tiny little package to save the entire world. I look forward to Christmas beginning in January. I hold off from listening to Christmas music and decorating until the beginning of December, because I never want to get sick of it. I never could understand why anyone would feel like Christmas was a hard time of year... until now.
Tomorrow is my due date, and considering that I can't go to my due date, the sadness of knowing that our little one would be here is constantly on my mind. And in this season of celebrating a baby who came to take away our suffering, I feel slighted. God, why did you let this happen to me?!?
It's December 6th and we don't have a Christmas tree, I haven't listened to much Christmas music, we haven't been doing the advent wreath or devotionals, I haven't even put the wreath on our door... We will be in the mountains for Christmas at the Travises mountain cabin, which will be fun and hard. I go back and forth in my mind from feeling like I am going to drown in everyone else's joy, and thankfulness that I will hopefully have plenty distraction.
We've bought some presents, because we have to, but I am just going through the motions, wishing for January.
We've bought some presents, because we have to, but I am just going through the motions, wishing for January.
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