It's my birthday today, I'm 31.

Here's what I have to say to my 31st year (which really I guess is my 32nd year)... You don't have to work very hard to be better than 30.

Also, I am thankful that we didn't receive the ashes today. I was worried that of all days, they would have showed up today. Thank you Lord, for sparing me the agony of receiving the one teaspoon of ashes that I will get of my child that I'll never know, on my birthday.

I got a Kindle for Christmas this year from my parents and I am having mixed feelings about it.

I aready miss the abilty to feel the progress that I am making, to be able to quickly flip to see how close the next chapter is, and feel the thickness of the pages change from the left to the right hand.

But the fact that I can buy a book with literally one click of a button is AMAZING instant gratification!  I am so excited about the ease with which I can burn through books. AWESOME!

Keely will be glad I finally caved, but what would Jane Austen think?!?!?

Admittedly, I haven't had to deal with a whole lot of death and loss in my lifetime.  All of my grandparents, thank the Lord, are still living. (Actually I have lost most of my step-grandparents, but the people who have loved me from my conception are all still alive.)

In this microwave cooking, instant grits, fly across the country in a few hours, instant communication via Skype and email world, one thing that nature still has it's firm grasp on is grief. You can't speed through or abbreviate the grieving process. Every morning, for the last seven days, I have laid in my bed looking at an empty spot on the floor and wished that someone had figured out how to microwave cook through grief.

It has been a week, and the wound from the hole is my heart is still quite raw, sometimes still seeping with anguish... where is the heal in seven days Neosporin for that?

Here we are at the end of January, I thought I should give an update as to how my resolutions are going...

Here again is the list, in no particular order:

1. Make Christmas stockings, the $1 ones from Old Navy just aren't going to cut it anymore.

2. Buy new tree stand, ours is terrible and I heard that LL Bean has one that is great.

3. Make a tree skirt, ours is hideous... I hate it

4. Buy wise men for my nativity set DONE

5. Be more active and health conscience (isn't that on everyone's list?) I can't cross this off, because this is an on going goal, but I have been taking advantage of the treadmill, so this is happening!

6. Run a 5k

7. Read more than 19 books (for the last three years I have read 19 books each year)

8. Get out of debt (TMI, I know, but it had to be there) DONE (for the most part, we aren't counting student loans)

9. Research and participate in a CSA (community supported agriculture not the Confederate States of America) DONE (this one I had to do much sooner than I thought that I would... I am glad that I looked online when I did, I almost missed the deadline!)

10. Enroll Halleigh in pre-school DONE

At church a couple weeks ago I found out that New Years Resolutions most often fail by the middle of February... we'll see! Miles and I say that 2010 is our year; so far so good!

Halleigh started Kindermusik today. It should not have come as a surprise that she would love it, but I was so happy as we drove home and later as we ate lunch that she was still singing and dancing in memory of what we learned in class today. She was sad that we had to wait a whole week before coming back.

Halleigh LOVES music and dancing. She has moved to a beat since before she was able to walk. As we make dinner at night we usually have music going and it has become a time of family dancing. We have a lot of fun!  I really hope that Kindermusik has/ will enrich this love of music and movement that Halleigh has.

Another great part of Kindermusik is that I take Halleigh and leave Beau, so it is girl bonding time.  She really liked that I was there with her and she had my full attention. It was fun to be there with her and I think that as all the kids get more comfortable and willing to participate it will become even more fun for parents and kids alike.

Who knew I could be so excited about music class?

Lately, I have had Montana on my mind. In my mind I've gone to Montana, can't you see the sunshine, can't you just feel the moonshine, baby just like a friend of mine... oh wait, wrong state!

I have had a several conversations about our time there recently, and have been fondly recalling what fun people we used to be. ha ha ha

Anyway, here is a video that was the topic of one conversation. Ashley said that she had seen this, and Miles and I couldn't figure out how she had seen it! Low and behold, a little search on youtube and here it is. Miles posted it a couple years ago and then forgot about it. Oh, camping in the snow... is there anything better?