Sometimes when I can't sleep, I get up and make a list and usually that helps to settle my mind. Even though it is morning, I think I need a list just to make it sane through my day, so here goes...

1. Even as I type "1." my eyes well up with tears. Kona has been gone for exactly two months. I thought this would get easier, but everyday I think about her and how much our lives are missing without her in them. I am so sorry that I failed at protecting you Kona Bean, I finally have the courage to tell you that I wasn't as diligent in keeping you safe as I should have been. Why didn't I make sure you were in the house when we left?!?!?! You were a precious part of God's creation and a sweet gift in my life. I will go to my grave feeling guilty that you didn't get to live out your life with us. I hope that you are part of Heaven.

2. I miss my mom. My mom was suppose to come out for Halleigh's birthday, but she has too much going on in her life right now, so she just can't get away. I know that in my brain, but I miss her terribly, and I just can't help but be sad for Halleigh and I both. It is hard to have all of my family know my children in pictures... 

3. On a happier note, I think my dad is coming again in October, which will be great! My favorite part about the summers of building the cabin were bring able to be around him while he worked. The last time he was here doing plumbing on our house I was reliving that happy time, and I am looking forward to it again.

3. This semester sucks. Having Miles gone two nights is awful already and it is only September!

4. I have GOT to go grocery shopping!

5. Women's Bible Study starts today, that is a bright spot. I have been missing that fellowship.

6. Oh crap! It's 7:30! I gotta go get Halleigh ready for school.